Oklahoma State University students tell us how they prefer to communicate with sexual partners.

Define Your Line and 1 is 2 many asked Oklahoma State University students to anonymously answer common questions asked by other college students about sexual consent and how to best communicate with sexual partners. 

Below is a summary of some of the most common and insightful responses we received.

 

Q: Is it best to just ask someone upfront if s/he wants to have sex?

The vast majority of students responded to this question with a resounding "yes!"

One student wrote, "It's better to be straight forward rather to be unsure. You never know how far is too far if you don't ask."

Another student responded by saying, "ALWAYS! I believe consent is so sexy! It's something that is mandatory and communication makes for safer, more fun sex."


Q: How do you know if someone is too drunk to say yes to sex?

One student felt that being able to drive may be a good indicator of drunkenness. 

Other students responded by saying that if you cannot verbally give consent, then you are too drunk. One student in particular wrote, "If they cannot verbally say they want to or if they are not able to have control." 

"If you have to ask, they are probably too drunk," another student replied.


Q: Is not saying no the same as saying yes to sex?

Most students gave responses similar to the following, that only a clear "yes" is considered consent. Many students acknowledged that nonverbal cues may occur throughout an encounter but that a verbal agreement was eventually necessary before things get hot and heavy.


Q: Do guys judge a girl if she doesn't want to have sex?

Some students felt that the answer to this question was unfortunately yes, but many also disagreed. 


Q: Do guys ever feel pressured to have sex?

Men can feel pressure to have sex just like women, so it's not fair to stereotype all men as sex-crazed or not to acknowledge that men can experience coercion and assault just as women can.

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